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Forgiving as an Act of Self-Love


Forgiving is often seen in a spiritual context. However, modern science believes that forgiveness contributes to a positive physiological and mental health. Research has also linked a forgiving nature with living longer. Cardiovascular health, mental health, and stress-reducing behaviours have been shown to improve in individuals practising forgiveness. Although, the degree and nature of a transgression determine how soon a person can forgive, forgiving is an act of self-love. The ability to forgive a transgression requires practice and commitment. Here are some ways you can train yourself:

Living in the Present

Dropping off the emotional baggage is essential in forgiving. Many of us keep evaluating the transgressor and the hurt trying to make sense of it. Experts claim that brooding does not contribute to releasing the past and embracing the present moment. Gratitude, patience, and realising that anyone can make a mistake helps in considering forgiveness.

Striking off the Score

Keeping score of our hurts makes us forget the essentially flawed reality of all human beings. It is important to remember that not having a scorecard at all is an easier way to live.

Visualizing with the Transgressor

Getting past your pain and forgiving someone can be visualized. Imagine that you are in conversation with the person who has hurt/betrayed you. A conversation where you can state your feelings eases the resentment and helps forgive.

Remembering Forgiveness is not Always Quick

Forgiving is a process. Understand that forgiveness may appear easy one day and gruelling on the next. Manage your emotions and allow yourself to feel at ease with them. Reconcile, if necessary, at your own time.

Taking Responsibility

Taking responsibility for your actions is paramount. This allows you to consider the situation in its holistic nature. Additionally, when you take responsibility, you can let go of the anger and resentment and forgive.